Valentine’s Day Reform

Circa Feburary-ish, 2008

.:Valentine’s Day Reform:.
Category: Romance and Relationships

Valentine's Day Reform

That wonderful (or dreaded, depending on your perspective) day is upon us again... Valentine's Day. Before I get into what I'm about to say, let it be known that I am not a "Valentine's Day Hater." However, I do think that this day needs a huge makeover. 1st, let's all be honest: Valentines day is a very lopsided "holiday", catered mainly towards women. With all the commercials and advertisements made for valentine's day, 90% of them (It's probably more than that) are about what men should be getting their S.O.. Very rarely do you see anything directed towards the men. You always hear about guys stressing over what to get their special lady, and what may happen to them if they don't come correct.

The same does not seem to be the case on the other side. Even when women have a hard time trying to figure out what to get their S.O. or to do for them, there's far less pressure on them. They don't have to worry about being put in "the dog house" or sleeping on the couch the next night if they don't get the right gift, or if they don't give one at all. For the most part, they don't "get in trouble" with their SO for not doing the right thing on Valentine's day. To further back my point, I once read in an old V-day issue of Ebony where the columnist (I was encouraged that this was coming from a woman—Valentine's Day Is A Two-Way Street) was disgusted by a conversation that her girlfriends were having. They were all ranting and raving about what their boyfriends/husbands were getting them and what they were going to "let" them do for them for Valentine's day, but made no mention of what they were going to do in return. It was as if those women acknowledged that the day was all about them and that nothing was expected of them; as if the men in their lives would be lucky to get anything from them, period.

Don't get me wrong; I am not against this "holiday" (I really don't consider it a holiday because we don't get off work or school). If I am in a relationship when Valentine's Day comes around, I treat my S.O. very well. Still, I think that it needs to be more of an "equal opportunity" event. I'm not quite sure how to go about changing this, but this is what I see that's wrong with Valentine's Day. What do you guys think? Any suggestions?


Just a little add-on to the original version...

I used to get all depressed and discouraged every year when Valentines day rolled around (yes, guys feel it too; most of us just don't admit it). I still feel like this "Holiday" needs a change, but long before I wrote this, I made up my mind that I would not allow all the V-Day hoopla to get me down. It would be a while (if ever) before the whole culture of it would change, so I decided I needed to change how would react to the feelings I had about it. Besides, we can't change our surroundings until we change ourselves, right? I decided that no matter what my marital status was at the time, I would be content w/ my situation and be happy. I also realized that the last sentence of Acts 20:35 was very helpful. Yes, the concept that it is better to give than to receive is very cliche and we often say it w/ out really thinking about the meaning of it. However, when you really put it into practice, it actually works (I dare y'all to try doing that w/ other parts of the Bible... you may just learn something ^_^). I don't always have the time and/or money to do it, but on several occasions I've gone elementary-school style w/ gift giving and gave all my female friends small but personalized V-Day cards. I didn't get anything tangible in return, but surprisingly, I felt much better on the inside than I ever could have imagined I would. I think the reactions and thanks that I got ended up being gifts in and of themselves. I'm not saying that we all need to go out and buy little kiddie-style cards for all our friends, but I definitely am saying that being giving, even if it's just your time, instead of being worried about what you're getting (or not getting), will make a huge difference.