I didn't know this was a thing (or, that it had an actual title, at least) until I joined Twitter, but along with all the wonderful things mentioned above, Fall also brings with it another season: Cuffing Season. What is this "Cuffing Season", you ask? UrbanDictionary.com describes Cuffing Season as such:
During the Fall and Winter months, people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves, along with the rest of the world, desiring to be "Cuffed" or tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed.
Apparently, winning during "cuffing season" involves
complex strategy and impeccable execution.
In short, right around this time every year, the cooler temperatures cause folks to have a greater desire to loose their single status, or get "boo'd up", if you will. However, fall also brings along what I have now dubbed "Un-Cuffing Season".
Current Relationship Status: CoD
You might be thinking to yourself: "How can both Cuffing and Un-Cuffing season occur at the same time?" Well, it just so happens that a lot of popular video games that annually reinvent themselves --mainly NBA 2Kwhatever-the-upcoming-year-is, Call of Duty, and Madden20##-- drop their newest renditions during these months. Thanks again to good ol' Twitter, I've found that these yearly releases cause a ton of strain on relationships that have survived the closing of previous cuffing seasons (aka, they stayed together instead of just being a Winter fling), and no doubt results in countless break-ups. Every year, like clockwork, I witness a salvo of tweets from disgruntled girlfriends about their man playing their video game of choice too much. This, of course, is followed immediately by clap-back tweets from guys who think these ladies need to stop trippin' and let them be great.
As some of you in relationships attempt to navigate another un-cuffing season, let me give you some things to ponder that may help you make it through with your relationship still in-tact. Now, one would think that I, being a guy, would be completely on the fellas' side on this. However, those of you who are familiar with my work know I gotta look at both sides of this fairly. I'll start with the guys (ladies, don't get too comfortable and think I'm not comin' for y'all lol).
***SIDE NOTE: I'm curious to know how many ladies out there have the opposite problem... Any lady gamers out there who have boyfriends who think they play too much? Let me know!***
Guys, sit back and think for a moment. Have you ever considered that maybe, juuuust maybe, there's a legit reason why your lady is complaining about the amount of time you spend playing video games? When's the last time y'all spent some quality time together? When was your last date night? If y'all live together, have you been holding up your side of whatever your bill-paying/chore-doing arrangement is? Does she constantly have to remind you of things you said you'd take care of? If you have unfavorable answers to at least two of these questions, then I actually don't blame your lady for having a little disdain towards your game playing. The words "priorities" and "moderation" come to mind. But just like you're currently giving her a reason to hate your gaming, you can turn that around and do things that leave her no valid reason to complain. Be proactive. Spend a little extra time with her. Schedule some dates or quality time with her ahead of time. Whatever your responsibilities are around the crib (if you live together), knock those out well before they become an issue. Maybe even take care of something she normally does. Be above reproach and leave no room for her to complain. Oh, and here's a noble concept: how 'bout doing that stuff on the regular? That way, you keep your lady happy, and she also doesn't think you're doing it just to keep her off your back.
Now, for the ladies... I ask you all some of the same questions. Is he spending enough time with you? Do you otherwise feel loved and appreciated? Is he taking care of home, whatever that means for you? If so, SHUT THE EFF UP AND THAT MAN FLOURISH!!! Everyone has fun, relieves stress, and enjoys their down time in their own way. If your man's preferred method of doing so is playing video games, then who are you to tell him that that's wrong? Imagine if he nagged and complained every time you wanted to watch Real Housewives of Wherever, HGTV, or The Bachelorette? (Ok, my apologies, I know I generalized horribly just now, but y'all get my point). And if you know your guy and you've been together for over a year, the fact that his favorite game is coming out isn't a surprise to you, yet some of you let it blindside you every year. Ladies, assuming you have a life outside of your man (if you don't, there's the problem, but more on that shortly), you mean to tell me you can't find something else to do while he and the squad are bodying folks in CoD? Unless he really is the type to play "all day, err day", you can't tell me that he just happens to always be playing whenever you want to spend time with him.
***Please excuse the profanity and n-bombs, but this was tragically funny.***
I'm pretty sure this story is fabricated, but ladies,
if this story even closely resembles you,
I feel sorry for your man.
Speaking of which, some of you ladies need to re-assess your definition of what it means to spend enough time with you. Yes, as I mentioned earlier, there are guys who really do spend too much time playing video games and leave you hanging. On the flip side, some women's definition of spending enough time with them is "he has to spend every waking moment that he's not at work/school with me". Ladies, if that's you, YOU'RE THE PROBLEM! It's no wonder he has to get away from you and pick up the sticks! Be like him and get yourself a hobby. 'Cause whether his hobby is video games or something else, your relationship probably isn't going to last long if you both don't have outside interests. Also, some ladies just plain hate gaming so much that any amount of gaming a guy does is too much. In which case, I either say that's a personal problem the lady needs to deal with on her own, or she just needs to find a guy who doesn't game.
Ya know, sometimes, I compare being on Twitter to a Jigsaw Trap: it helps me appreciate my life. I read these seasonal arguments on Twitter and it makes me grateful for my wife and our relationship, and specifically when it comes to the topic at hand. I consider myself a "casual binge-gamer", meaning that I may go months without playing any games at all, but when I get a new game or decide to pick up an old one again, its several hours straight for several nights in a row. Even during those binges, my wife has yet to give me any crap about my gaming. The most she'll say is "don't stay up too late." Heck, this woman even went so far as to buy me a PS4 last year. Even if she hadn't done that, I still appreciate her for being considerate enough to give me my space to do the things I like to do. By the same token, I also give her that space as well, 'cause guess what? We BOTH have outside interests and aren't all up under each other all the time. And not to say that I'm perfect at this or that I'm the standard or anything, but I also don't give her much reason to complain. I'm not constantly on the sticks, and if certain things aren't already taken care of at the crib when I'm playing, I give her a legit time table of when I plan to get it done, and I haven't given her a reason to not believe me when I tell her.
Best. Wife. EVER.
I love this woman.
I love this woman.
I really hope this helps you all survive this current un-cuffing season, and many more to come. Video games don't have to be a sore spot in a relationship. As long as both sides are willing to communicate and be considerate of each other, I believe it can definitely work. If not, then video games are just a symptom of a bigger problem.
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