Cosplayin': My Cosplay Is Not For YOU.

If you're like me and you're an avid cosplayer and unapologetically geeky to boot, you inevitably end up having conversations with your associates, friends, and family about your hobby.  Some of these conversations can be pleasant, while others can go left really quick.  I've heard a fair amount of horror stories from other cosplayers who've had their "loved ones" ridicule their passion, tell them to grow up, or even go so far as to accuse them of devil worshiping.

Fortunately, my discussions about cosplay with my friends and family have been positive.  Well, positive towards me, anyway.  You see, while I haven't received any negative feedback about my hobby or my costumes, I find myself having to defend some of my fellow cosplayers from the comments of those close to me.  For example, my wife and I were showing her aunt and uncle some photos we took back at Dragon*Con 2015.  We proceeded to show them a pic of my wife and her favorite cosplayer (after me, of course), Lonstermash.  This guy is, in me and my wife's opinion, as spot-on of a movie-version Wolverine as you can get.  However, both our aunt and uncle looked at him and said "Meh.  He needs to work out more."  Even worse, we showed this same pic to my mom a few weeks later, and her reaction was pretty much the same.  "He's not buff enough to be Wolverine."  This was a severe case of blasphemy to me, 'cause I look at Lon and think "#BODYGOALS!!!"  I thought to myself, how could anyone possibly look at this man and think he's not anything enough to be Wolverine?  Heck, I look at him sometimes and have to remind myself that's not Hugh Jackman!

Other friends and family have also had similar things to say about other cosplayers they've seen in photos that I show them.  They almost immediately begin to compare people and pick them apart.  They'd say "Myron, your's is so much better than this one" or "this girl's cosplay has nothing on this other girl."  I even had a friend tag me in her comment of another cosplayer's pic, saying "here's your match", as if we were competing.

 

 If this dude ain't a perfect Wolverine, nobody is.

Of course, this only gets worse when it comes to people on the internet.  Over the Summer, a video posted by one of my favorite cosplayers, Alicia Marie, was shared in a nerd group that I used to belong to on Facebook (the reasons why I left are pretty much the same reasons why I'm writing this blog).  Alicia's video was a snapchat of her cosplaying as Storm.   There were people who shared my opinion that she looked awesome, but there were countless people who nit-picked her, saying she was too light-skinned to be Storm.

 

The internet has taught me that you can look like both a supermodel AND an action figure, 
and haters STILL gon' find a way to hate.

I made a post later that night, defending Alicia and every other person who had been criticized by that group.  I gave a stern reminder to them that cosplay is for everyone, regardless of gender, body type, race, sexual orientation, or anything else.  The post was well accepted by all except one idiot who proclaimed that "fat cosplay is trash" and that cosplayers should "be humble".  This guy kept saying "be humble" and "stay humble" throughout our argument, giving me the impression that he had no idea what being humble really meant.  Based on the context, he confused being "humble" with "staying in your lane", believing that cosplayers should only cosplay characters that look like them or that match their body type.

Just one snippet of our altercation...

(I had originally posted the 2nd screenshot, with 

the names crossed over, in a more positive cosplay group on FB.
However, after seeing this dude's foolishness, 

the other members were in favor of NOT blocking his name out.  You don't get the 

privilege of anonymity when you're bold enough to be 

this much of a jerk to people, apparently.)

All of the above has lead me to the conclusion that many people who don't cosplay just don't get cosplay.  In the case of my family and most of my friends, they mean well and their comments aren't out of malice, but I can still tell they just don't get it (mom, family... if y'all are reading this, I promise that the following angst is not aimed at you).  We dress up as our favorite characters to show our love for them and to express ourselves, and have never brought what other people think about it into consideration when doing so.  We aren't trying to out-do each other; only ourselves.  And unless we actually enter a contest, we're not competing with anyone.  We don't care if we're the "wrong" race, gender, or body type for a character.  After all, the majority of us aren't doing this to audition to play the part of our favorite character in their next live action movie.  We also don't care if our interpretation or personal spin on a character doesn't resonate with someone else's.   However, now that cosplay is mainstream, all of a sudden your cosplay isn't acceptable or "doesn't work" if it doesn't fit what the rest of the world thinks it should be, and there's no shortage of internet basement trolls who have no qualms about letting you know in the most brutal way possible.  You see, one of the unfortunate side-effects of cosplay (and geekery as a whole) becoming mainstream and "cool" is that the people think cosplayers are now subject to the standards of what is acceptable and beautiful in the media.  On top of that, many geeks tend to be very anal about the things they love, so if you don't look exactly like a character in both costume and body, or if you don't fit that particular geeks' vision of a character, it's a problem.

What I'm here to tell you all is this...  While we definitely appreciate when others like our work (who doesn't?), we cosplay for ourselves.   As I said before, cosplay is not a movie audition, so there is no requirement to look exactly like that unrealistically-drawn character.  Therefore, any comments and opinions of "He's not ___ enough to be ___" or "She's too ___ to be ___" are completely invalid.  If we should so happen to look like that character, whether by genetics and/or working out, then that's simply icing on the cake.  Nothing more.  Our cosplays are not here for anyone's critique, consumption, or judgement, and neither are our bodies.  Contrary to popular belief, just because someone posts themselves on the internet, it's not an open invite to give your unfiltered opinions (which you are entitled to, of course, but you're not entitled to be a jerk to anyone).  While I'm at it, people kill me with this posting of someone else's cosplay on their social media pages, captioning it with "Thoughts?", "How'd (s)he do?", and even "Rate them 1-10", which does nothing but invite criticism & judgement.

Like I stated before, we may not be competing, but we definitely want to grow, so constructive criticism is usually welcome.  But keep the disrespect to yourself, along with any comments about someone not being the right race, gender, or body type.   These are things that we either cannot change or are not willing to change just to please others and appeal to their vision of a character.  I can't stress enough that cosplay does not play by society's rules.  Therefore, if a white guy wants to dress up as Storm, he can do that.  If a black woman wants to be Superman, she has every right to.  A skinny dude can be Thor.  A fat girl can be Jessica Rabbit.  Not something you want to see?  That's fine.  Don't think a person's cosplay "works" or is "appropriate"?  That's cool, too.  But just remember that, while you're free to enjoy (or not) someone's cosplay, they're not cosplaying for you.  You'll be ok.