Being a young man of non-Hispanic descent, I'm often asked "how did you get into salsa?" I'm pretty sure many of you who have stumbled upon my blog here or know of me otherwise have wondered the same thing. Since I haven't blogged in half of a forever, I decided I'd take some time out to share with you all my "salsa story."
My first encounter with Latin dancing that I remember was my final semester of High School, circa 2000. My school was having a multi-cultural festival that day and I witnessed many of my friends participating in the Latin portion of the event. I wasn't sure what I was really looking at at the time (in retrospect, I think it was Merengue they were dancing), but I can remember thinking to myself, "I wish I could do that!!!" Not only was I wishing that I could dance like that, but also wishing that I had the nerve to do anything in front of a large crowd. (Would you believe I'm a recovering glossophobe?) Other than learning how to do a turtle from reading online break dancing instructions (that's the only breakin' move I have, but I'm halfway decent at it), I had given no prior thought to dancing or had any training in it whatsoever.
Ok, fast forward about a year and some change... I'm in my 2nd year of college at FAMU and courting a young lady who would eventually become my girlfriend (now ex of course). On our 2nd date, she told me that she liked to dance. When I asked the specific kind, she said latin dancing. I expressed that I had always wanted to learn. So, on our next date, she decided to take me out. Our plans were to go to Atlantis, Tallahassee's only Latin night club. However, a little less than an hour before date time, she informs me that plans have changed and we're now going to a house party that our Church's single's ministry was having. Now, far be it from me to argue about plans when in the company of a gorgeous woman and she's taking me out. I would find out later on that she changed plans because she thought I really didn't want to go salsa dancing and only wanted to go to please her. That was so far from the truth, but good luck convincing her of that. Surely, I tried. I spent several dates trying to take her there, but something would always come up. Fast forward to Valentine's Day 2002: we've been boyfriend & girlfriend for about 2 months now and we're FINALLY headed to Atlantis. We got our lesson in, but I didn't really catch on then. Again, I think the instructor was teaching us Merengue and not salsa, now that I think about it. Not that I knew any better.
Ok, let's hop back into the time machine and skip forward to September-ish of that year. My lady and I parted ways 4 months prior; I had moved back to Atlanta, and she had moved back to New Jersey. After Church one Sunday, we were all having lunch at a diner when one brother from our campus ministry announced to us all that he would be teaching salsa lessons after Church every Sunday. For free. He was doing this as a way to reach out to people who weren't necessarily into Church, and also just for the campus ministry to have something else to do. Of course, the key word for me was "free", I was all in upon hearing that. I thought to myself, "I've always been interested. And it's free... So why the heck not?"
We'll pause here for a moment. For every guy who has been dancing salsa for a decent amount of time, there is always a woman involved in his story somewhere. Maybe it was because of, maybe it was in spite of. Contrary to what my friends at the time in Tallahassee would tell you, for me, it was in spite of. Let's re-visit the situation w/ my now ex. Throughout our short-lived time as a couple, she often expressed that she felt I wasn't being a very good leader in the relationship; both in general and spiritually. This was my very first relationship ever, so I wasn't used to that dynamic. On top of that, I'm not a naturally assertive, "take charge" type of person. Though I would find out much later that it wasn't the case, I had always believed that this was the reason she broke up with me. It would be a very long time after that before I would be able to hear any mention of leading or taking charge without feeling like it was directed towards me, whether it really was or not. Whenever I would hear those words or that concept, it would always sting more than a little bit, and I would always hear it in her voice. Calm and soft-spoken as that voice was, it always felt like a Muay-Thai leg kick to my confidence.
Considering all of that, you can imagine my struggles during the "beginner's hell" stage of my salsa career. Most beginner leads either lead too hard or lead to soft. Being the non-aggressive person that I am, I always erred to the softer side. This "beginner's hell" stage is where most guys either get sifted out, or become determined to get better. Those who do the latter normally end up being pretty decent at least, if not better. It was my whole battle w/ my own flaws that actually motivated me to stick with salsa. I wasn't necessarily motivated by my ex herself, but by what she represented for me in my life. She was a constant reminder of a weakness of mine, and I was tired of hearing about it. So while I may not have completely transformed into a super-confident, extra-assertive man of a man, I think God had it in his plan for me to learn salsa to help me grow out of my old, timid self.
Not only do I think that God used it as as tool to help me grow, but I also think he did it to give me something else to be passionate about. Throughout the earlier part of my life, I had many things that I liked to do, but nothing that I absolutely had to do. I loved video games, basketball, football (not that I was horribly good at either sport), art, and many other things, but I could go days, weeks, months, even years without doing any of those. Salsa, however, is a different story. I often joke that anything past 2 weeks w/ out dancing would cause me to break out in hives and start twitching and scratching my neck like Tyrone Biggums. I still remember the day that I decided I was hooked. It was the Summer of 2004. I finally turned 21 about 6 months or so before, and I was hungry to find any and everything Salsa in Atlanta (little did I know that there were events other than clubs that didn't require me to be 21 to get into, so there was actually no need for me to wait). A friend of mine and I would go to Loca Luna every other weekend to dance salsa. Mind you, I was still in my "salsa scrub" days, but I never felt fulfilled upon leaving there because, despite not being at even the intermediate level, none of the girls there could really keep up. Never mind the fact that this was more so the "meet/meat market crowd" and not the "salsero" crowd, so I was also getting turned down for dances 50% or more of the time. One fateful day, I found out about a social at The Sanctuary (where I now teach on Fridays). It just so happened that many "salsa-celebs" were in the house that night: Gordon Neil, Ismael Otereo, and Juan Matos, just to name few. I spent several minutes picking my jaw up off of the ground from amazement while watching their performances. I was a bit nervous when it came time for the social dancing to resume, however. I figured, "Everybody in this room is a PRO. If those girls at Loca Luna turned me down half the time, it'll surely be worse here." Boy, was I wrong, and I'm glad I was. I didn't get turned down at all that night! I realized I had finally found what I was looking for. I've been a proud salsaholic ever since then. Here I am, many years, salsa socials, salsa congresses, and one 1st place salsa contest finish later. :-)
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