America: The land of Entitlement

The United States of America: known as “The land of Opportunity.”

Our beloved country earned this reputation from the fact that countless immigrants from other nations have moved here for the chance at a better life. They moved from countries where there were not many opportunities to improve their way of living. Here in America, it is believed that no matter who you are or where you come from, you can make for yourself whatever kind of life you want, get whatever you want, live wherever you want, as long as you work hard enough for it.

Did I just say, “work hard”? Wow, good ol' hard work. Such a noble concept, but also such a foreign one nowadays. I have to wonder, where did all the hard workers go? Where did highly motivated go-getters go? I ask this because from what I’ve seen, our country’s alias has changed from “The Land of Opportunity” to “The Land of Entitlement.” Our modern American society seems to have what is called an Entitlement Complex. People feel that certain things are owed to them; that they deserve them. Maybe it’s because of our own Bill of Rights and Constitution that has convinced us that we have certain “rights” (not that I’m against having rights at all, but work with me here). Maybe it’s because a large portion of the advertising, marketing and media that we see is all geared towards convincing us that we “deserve” to have the newest and the best. Or maybe we’ve just become so spoiled by our society’s high standards that we think that certain things in our lives are just supposed to be automatic, and that there is something horribly wrong with the world if we don’t have what we’ve convinced ourselves we deserve. We no longer deserve things because we worked hard for them, we deserve them simply because we are Americans.

The words “entitlement” and “deserve” are fast becoming some of my least favorite. I’ve even seen the word “entitlement” used as a more positive-sounding label for welfare programs. I’m not saying that there aren’t people who legitimately need welfare, but to refer to welfare programs as “entitlement” gives the impression that people have a right to live and eat comfortably (relatively comfortable, considering the rest of the world’s standards as well) even if they aren’t making an effort to actually work for their lifestyle. I hear the word “deserve” thrown around way too much. “I deserve the best.” “I deserve more.” “You don’t deserve my time.” When I hear people say these things, whether they mean it that way or not, I can’t help but to hear arrogance. I mean, really, what makes you think you deserve something? Why do you deserve this thing or that thing? Why doesn’t someone deserve your time? Who are you and what have you done to be able to make such a claim? If you’ve really done something to be able to say such things, amen to that. You actually have a legitimate reason. But you do not deserve something just off the simple fact that you are able to make up in your mind that it is so. Americans specifically, but we as people in general would do well to get a sober, realistic judgment of what we really deserve, which isn’t much.

When you realize that you’re not really owed much of anything in this life, it helps you to be grateful for what you have. I’ve often said that having a sense of entitlement is like kryptonite to gratitude. When you feel as if you are owed or deserve to have something, it is nearly impossible to be grateful for it. You don’t have anywhere near the same appreciation for something that is simply handed to you that you do for something that you earned or worked hard for. An earned possession or privilege is worth more to you, and you are at least somewhat more justified in making a fuss about it if someone takes it from you or you otherwise lose it. Things that are just given to you routinely, not so much. Don’t get me wrong, I get just as upset when I don’t get something I want as the next person does, and understandably so, but some people will cause just as much or more chaos over losing something that they did not earn as they do for something that they did, and that is a serious problem.

I mentioned gratitude earlier and how feeling entitled keeps you from displaying it. When you feel that something is just automatically supposed to happen or you have a pre-determined expectation of something, it prevents you from showing appreciation for it. For example, I was reading an article written by one of my favorite relationship bloggers on twitter, @TheDatingTruth. In said article, the author expressed feeling that some women don’t know how to be grateful (Before any of y’all go jump off the deep end with that, I am only using this as an example. My point is not aimed at women.). She explains to her readers that a little bit of appreciation and gratitude towards a man goes a long way. She then addresses the fact that many women will hear this and think “Well, why should I thank him for something he’s supposed to do?” Regardless of gender, that type of attitude reeks of narcissism to me. First of all, just that fact that a person would already have in their minds that anything someone does is something that they’re “supposed” to do anyway is a bit arrogant, to say the least. Second, why not thank someone for doing something? Even if said person is doing something that they’re just supposed to do, even if it is their job and they get paid to do it, what’s wrong with saying a simple “thank you?” Those two words take little to no effort to say. Think about it: if you did something for someone, regardless if you did it on your own accord or if you were told to do it, or even if it’s in your job description, don’t you feel at lest the slightest bit better when someone smiles and says “thank you?” You’d think people would apply the golden rule here, but sadly, I would not be surprised if at least one person reading this actually has to Google “The Golden Rule” to figure out what it means. Anyway, my point here is that showing gratitude is not very difficult at all, if you have the correct mindset for it. In my humble opinion, if you have a problem with showing gratitude, if you find it beneath you to say thank you to someone just because they were doing their job or otherwise doing something they were “supposed to do”, you have some serious issues and you could stand to cancel your subscriptions to them.

All I’m really saying is, we all need to take a step back and think about how much we really do (or don’t) deserve. Having a sober judgment about this will give you a better perspective on life and make life just a little more pleasant for those around you as well. And lastly, remember that the words “please” and “thank you” are so very easy to say and mean more to people than you think. Alright, say them with me now: “please” and “thank you.” See? It wasn't that hard now, was it?