"Y'all Do It, Too..."

When browsing the internet, you can't go but so far before finding an article, blog post, or social media rant status that focuses on one group or another, whether it be a particular sex, race, political party, religion, or what have you.  The piece may be giving advice to, offering constructive criticism of, or just blatantly calling out that group.  Regardless of how respectful and constructive (or not) the piece may be, you are bound to find a member of the group in question who is "all in their feelings" and has replied in the comments section with a statement that says something to the effect of "well, y'all do it, too."

I get it.  Nobody likes being called out, criticized, or told they need to change something.  However, I've always had a problem with this particular response.  IMHO, "Y'all do it, too" is the laziest, weakest, most immature response to anything, ever.  Here's why I believe this so strongly:

We already know that.

Every time I read a YDIT response, my inner sailor wants to say, "No $#!t, Sherlock".  9 times out of 9.5, it goes without saying that the other group does "it" as well.  And unless the they're completely out of touch with reality, the author knew this when they wrote it.  They just weren't talking about that group at that moment, for whatever reason, but we'll get to that momentarily.  Some may be all too ready to shout that the author is a hypocrite, which could be the case, but isn't necessarily.  But yes, under most circumstances, either side has been guilty of whatever "it" is.  Both men and women cheat.  People of all races have had some sort of prejudice towards some others.  Both the major political parties in the US have used smear campaigns and done other shady things.  I could keep going with this, of course, but you get the picture.  You're not stating anything new by saying YDIT.  You're not covering any new ground.  All you're doing is putting on your "Captain Obvious" cosplay and getting fully into character.  

It doesn't justify anything.

Regardless of who did what first (with most things, it'd be pretty impossible to trace back to exactly who), neither side doing something foul justifies the same for the other.  If you think that it does and therefore are using it as an excuse to keep doing whatever "it" is, all you're doing is keeping the cycle going, adding gasoline to the bonfire.  

You're "All lives matter"-ing the situation.

When you respond with YDIT, you're also doing a couple of similar things.  First, you're invalidating that person's experience.  This is a very mild example, but let's just pretend I went out salsa dancing last night, and I danced with an unusually high amount of women who had, as I like to call it, "scorpion hands", where they put a vice grip on their partners hands, which is very uncomfortable.  In my frustration, I may post a Facebook status saying "Ladies, please don't give your partner scorpion hands".  Though this would be the exception among my circle of FB friends, it wouldn't surprise me to see someone reply with "well, leads do this to ladies all the time."  But if I, as a lead, am not guilty of this (I'm not), what does that have to do with me and my particular situation?  So I'm not allowed to feel bad about this because other guys who aren't me have done this to their partners?  And I'm keenly aware that guys do it too, and I address both if I'm teaching a class.  But if I'm venting about what has happened to me, I'm not talking about everyone, and I honestly don't feel I need to.  If a woman posted the opposite, I'm not going to jump into her comments with "well, ladies do this too, ya know."

I'm taking a slight detour with this next point, but also, when you reply with YDIT (or its close cousins, "What about ___" and "It happens to us, too"), you're vilifying the person for having the "audacity" to only speak about their experience and not include every other possible group who has also experienced it.  That's why I and several other associates of mine have turned #AllLivesMatter into a verb.  You're "all lives matter"-ing someone's post when you interject with "well, we go through this, too", effectively derailing the conversation.  If someone is speaking about their personal experience, or if they're focusing on one group or another, often times it's for a reason.  For example, both men and women get abused, harassed, and sexually assaulted.  However, #metoo focused on women because they are far more often the victims.  No reasonable woman who posted #metoo was inherently saying "this never happens to men", nor did any reasonable man assume that.  Also, there's a separate "Breast Cancer Awareness Month" and "Prostate Health Awareness Month" as opposed to just a general "Cancer Awareness Month" because, although they are similar, they each have nuances that deserve specific attention, and therefore it would be a disservice to lump them all together.  So, it'd be very tasteless to say "what about breast cancer?" when someone decides to post about prostate cancer.  Obviously, not every situation that gets all lives mattered is as heavy as the examples I just gave, but hopefully you catch my drift.

Your defensiveness and lack of maturity is showing.

I would only apply this in the case that said criticism is constructive and not just random (insert group here)-bashing, but when you comment with YDIT, all you're doing is being defensive.  You're using it as a deflection to avoid addressing the issue at hand.  Even those of us who are very self-aware still don't always notice our flaws and correct them without someone calling them to our attention.  Personally, I know that, even though I consider myself to be pretty self-aware, I know many of my former flaws would still exist if it weren't for others talking to me about them, and my current ones would be worse than they are.  Just my opinion, but those of us who are mature are able to move past our initial feeling of "how dare you call me out?!" and see that "ok, maybe I do need to work on that."  If your immediate response to a criticism or offering up of advice is to "clap back" with YDIT, you're just showing your lack of maturity and self responsibility.  It's immaturity that makes us say "well, if you're gonna call me out, you'd better be calling out everybody else who does this, too".

At the end of the day, there are always going to be posts about particular topics, and they aren't all going to cover all sides of everything.  And quite frankly, I don't think they need to.  I don't think people should have to walk on eggshells, worrying that someone will get all in their feelings if their post doesn't cover every possible angle.  Maybe I'm asking too much, but I think people should have the maturity to be able to read a post about a group they're a member of and not take it personally, especially if the criticism doesn't apply to them specifically.  Unless explicitly stated, the author isn't saying "all (insert group)", so if it doesn't apply, no need to get defensive.  Hit dogs won't holler.  But if that shoe fits, tie 'em up tight and get to runnin'.  See if there's a lesson you can learn about how your behavior makes others feel.

Cosplayin': Oh, The "Accuracy"

One of the great things about cosplay is the awesome reactions that it incites in everyone.  From geek-gasms to nostalgic feelings of "OH MY GOD, MY CHILDHOOD JUST WALKED PAST ME!!!", cosplay can bring about joy and amazement to even the non-geekiest of onlookers.  One key factor in this is the amount of accuracy that many cosplayers bring to the table.  When you see someone dress up as your favorite comic book character or childhood hero, and they look exactly like them, you can't help but geek out a little.  It's amazing how much accuracy can be achieved in dressing up as a character, especially when the creators of these characters probably didn't have real-life practicality in mind when they drew them up.  With extreme dedication, creativity, and sometimes even obsession, these impossible characters are somehow brought to life with cosplay.

However, I've found that, while accuracy is awesome, it does have an adverse affect on the world of cosplay.  Because there are some incredible cosplayers who are indeed able to make spot-on costumes and get their bodies in impeccable shape, some casual fans of cosplay (who don't realize that it isn't a sport) would say that those cosplayers have "set the bar", so to speak.  Add that to the fact that most geeks and nerds have the tendency to be very anal and persnickety about things they love, and you have this misconception that the only good cosplays are accurate cosplays.  If that cape isn't the right length, if that bang is on the wrong side of her head, if that shade of green body paint is ever-so-slightly off, it's not "good".  Or, as in some of the more ugly examples of this mindset, if the costumer isn't the right race, body type, or gender for the character, it automatically renders the cosplay "inaccurate" and therefore, not good.

Although I enjoy accurate cosplays as much as the next geek, I can't subscribe to this school of thought.  Although there are a few cosplayers who do, my experience has been that it's mostly non-cosplayers who think like this.  As a cosplayer myself, I know how much effort goes into making things super accurate, and I also know that there's so much more to cosplay than just plain ol' accuracy.  Let me give you my humble and possibly unpopular opinion on this:

Accuracy is OVERRATED.  

Yeah, I said it.  Not overrated by much, but overrated still.  Now, before y'all go droppin' C4 in my comments, hear me out.  I am not saying that accuracy isn't important, or that it should never be striven for.  I'm just saying that it's not the only thing that matters.  It's not the be-all, end-all.

Cosplayers cosplay for a myriad of reasons, so accuracy doesn't carry the same weight for everyone.  The level of importance can also vary depending on the situation.  For instance, I'm part of a costuming club that specializes in GI Joe characters.  Our club, as with quite a few others like it, has a standard for high-quality, accurate (as humanly possible, anyway) costumes.  I knew and accepted this when I applied for membership, and so did every other member.  We have tons of fun in our club, but we know that accuracy is the goal; we subjected ourselves to this standard and hold each other to it.  

Your childhood right before your eyes:  Real-life action figures brought to you by "The FINEST: A GI Joe Costume Club" (That's me w/ the red faceplate)

However, though some may disagree with me on this, cosplay in and of itself does not have a "standard".  There is no requirement on effort, and outside of cosplay contests, there are no grades given.  Other than just having fun without being a d**k to others in the process, there aren't any rules to it, either.  This is where one very important aspect of cosplay comes in:  Creativity.

Again, I'm not dissing accurate cosplay.  I'm never going to grow tired of seeing a straight-off-the-pages Storm, or a perfect set of Ironman or War Machine armor.  But, truth be told, if I went to a convention and only saw nothing but 100% accurate cosplays, I'd get pretty bored pretty quickly.  Creativity and thinking outside of canon (or, "head-canon" as many call it) brings an extra element of fun to cosplay.  Cosplay has always been about showing your love and admiration for your favorite character, and doing so in whatever ways seem fit to you.  Many cosplayers have their own vision for a character, and tailor their costume to match that.  This is one of the things that I greatly enjoy about cosplay: seeing cosplayers put their own flavor and personal spin on a character.

Another creative aspect of cosplay that I always look forward to seeing is mash-up characters.  Whether the combination of characters is that of characters played by the same actor, two characters that form a clever joke or play on words, or mixing two unrelated characters just for the heck of it, mash-ups always bring a lot of fun to the cosplay scene.  Witty mash-ups are always bound to add a bit of shock value and humor at any given con.

Some of my favorite mash-ups:

Sub-Elsa, Jules Windu (myself), Saiyan Spiderman (Saiyan Spider Cosplay), and Piccolo:  Mother of Dragons (Cendrillon Cosplay)

Now, I'm not here to tell you that you have to like anyone's cosplay.  Someone else's vision for a character ain't always gonna be your cup o' tea.  You don't like someone's change to a character?  That's cool.  You don't like how much creative liberty someone took with a character?  No problem.  Heck, I don't always like what people do with their costumes.  For example, I came across a Psylocke cosplayer who used two Sais as weapons as opposed to her traditional katana blade.  While the costume itself was on point, I thought to myself, "Psylocke never had Sais.  She has a sword.  Why would you do that?  Homegirl's gonna be mistaken for Elektra."  But you know what?  I didn't blow up her comments with those thoughts.  I kept my unsolicited opinion to myself.  Why?  Because I respect another cosplayer's right to do whatever the heck they wanna do with their costume.  At the end of the day, I knew what character she was.

Original and still highly recognizable costume designs of Noob Saibot (Jets Cosplay) 

and Psylocke (Momo Kurumi Cosplay).

This leads me to my final point:  after having fun and feeling good about yourself and your work, I think what really matters most is that your cosplay is recognizable.  You may have made a costume that doesn't look like a professional seamstress made it, but you did your best.  You may be cosplaying as a character that you're the "wrong" (emphasis on the "") gender, race, or body type for, but you love that character nonetheless.  You may even have created an original costume design for a character.  As long as people get it, as long as they know who you are, I believe that goes a long way.  Cosplay is art, after all, so there's a lot of self expression going into this for many people that cannot always be bound by canon.  If you want to be completely accurate with your cosplay, that's all kinds of awesome, and you shouldn't have to apologize for it.  However, if you want to flip, mix & match, or remix a character, that's just as awesome, and you shouldn't have to apologize for that, either.