“Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
O_o
Somebody done told you wrong.
Ok, ok… I realize the intent of this statement is to help young children learn how to deal with verbal abuse. I get that. And, for the most part, it does its job. Honestly, though, I think whoever originally coined this phrase was lying to him or herself, trying hard to convince one’s self that the words of others had no power. And we’d all like to think that that’s true. We’d all love to think that, as we’ve gotten older, we’ve matured past the point of using words in a malicious manner and allowing the words of others to affect how we feel about ourselves. However, considering the amount of “grown” adults who still wield insults like Darth Vader wields a light saber, and the ridiculous amount of people of all ages who suffer from depression, we’d be foolish to believe so.
We all have a limit to what we can verbally take from others. Some people couldn’t be more sensitive if they had tissue paper for skin, while others have skin so thick it seems nothing short of bullets will pierce them. Still, no one is verbally immune. Now, given all of this, you’d think that people would practice the golden rule when it comes to the things that they say. Not so much, unfortunately. For as many people there are that are so very guarded, almost to the point of being overprotective of their hearts and feelings, there are just as many people who choose to have no discipline when it comes to their speech. (Ironically, these two traits can often be found in the same person) So many people seem to brag about how freely they speak their minds, saying things like “I don’t hold my tongue for nobody!” or “I say what I feel!”
It disturbs and disgusts me to know that many people have such a blatant disregard for the feelings of others and the effect that their words may have on them. I’ve even seen people on twitter make statements such as “(Expletive) yo’ feelings.” Really? Seriously? I doubt that it would go over well with those who feel this way if others were to say the same thing to them. Again, the golden rule goes flying out the closed window of the 50th floor. Said person would probably be quick to say “I don’t care,” but I’d dare to call their bluff. Deep down, no one wants to feel as if their feelings are not being considered or protected at all.
The argument is often made that many people are just way too sensitive and that they need to toughen up. While this is a legitimate argument, this is not an excuse to say whatever comes to mind without restraint. There is also the train of thought that “the truth hurts” and some are just not able to take it. This is also true in many cases; but again, this is not permission to deliver said “truth” in whatever package you see fit. Going even further, there are some who choose not to keep a tight reign on their tongues, under the guise of “keeping it real.” While I am an advocate of keeping it real, again I say that this is not a license to run off at the mouth with reckless abandon.
Contrary to popular belief, “keeping it real” and telling the truth are not synonymous with being rude, mean, or unnecessarily blunt. Many believe that being nice, compassionate and considerate in one’s speech is equivalent to sugar-coating things and watering down the truth. I wholeheartedly believe that this could not be any farther from the truth. It is very possible to be real and tell the truth without being inconsiderate and rude. In order to accomplish this, one has to be willing to put one’s self in another person’s shoes, considering how they would feel if they heard the words that they were about to deliver. When I have even the slightest inkling that something I’m about to say may be offensive, I think to myself, “How would I feel if someone said that to me? How would I want someone to relay this to me if they felt that it was necessary to say such a thing?” The sad thing is, however, doing this requires much more effort than most people are willing to put forth. Many will consider themselves as not having time to walk on egg-shells in conversations or coddling people because their feelings are too easily hurt. Being polite while speaking one’s mind is not about that. Not at all. It is simply about treating someone the way that you would want to be treated.
I get the feeling that most people just don’t realize that so much damage is done to others and themselves when they choose not to tame their tongues. This is just another reminder for me that the world has a completely different thinking that God has. This is clearly one of those cases. While the vast majority of the world has a mindset that they will not put a filter on their mouths, God makes it clear that those who are wise do just that. Let’s take a look at what God and his word says about how we should and shouldn’t be using our words:
Proverbs 11:9 Those who are Godless destroy their neighbors with their mouths.
Proverbs 11:12 Those who have understanding hold their tongues.
Proverbs 12:18 Healing comes from the mouths of those who are wise.
Proverbs 15:4 Perverse tongues crush the spirits of others.
Proverbs 17:20 Those who have perverse tongues fall into trouble.
Proverbs 17:28 Even a fool is considered wise if he holds his tongue.
Proverbs 18:7 The mouths of fools are their undoing.
Proverbs 18:21 The tongue holds the power of life and death.
Proverbs 21:23 Those who guard their mouths & tongues keep themselves from calamity.
Proverbs 25:15 A gentle tongue is powerful enough to break a bone.
Ephesians 4:29 Only what is helpful and useful for building up others should come out of our mouths.
James 1:26 Those who consider themselves religious but don’t control their tongues deceive themselves and degrade their faith.
James 3:3-8 The tongue is difficult to tame and can be very destructive.
I know some, even after reading this, may still choose not to take this matter seriously, brushing it off as just a difference of opinion. However, we must consider how serious of a matter it is to God. If our creator sees this as a serious matter, that is more than good enough of a reason for us to do so as well. I can still hear many thinking to themselves, “It’s my mouth and I’ll say what I want.” This is true, but as displayed above, improper use of one’s mouth can and will lead to serious consequences.
